When Will This Deadlock End?
One year completed in this city and country. One year that I got into an impossible deadlock which refuses to open up or cave out. Horribly, the situation is just sucking in even more irretrievably. Reprieve is nowhere in sight.
Two days back I just thought of giving life a push - leave the job, this city and country. Return home, and probably search for the track that got lost somewhere two years back. But, sadly did not muster up enough courage. Mainly due to the expectant faces of parents. Did not have the heart to tell them that their son has failed yet again. I know they would understand, I know they would rally around me, I know they would care. But it is all this which hurts. Their love and care and concern would kill me internally. How often will I fail? How often will I stumble? How often will I not achieve my goals?
Please, God, please - give me my path back. I beg of you. The pain is unbearable now. Impossibly unbearable. I am now scared what this pain will lead me to do. Apni vahshat se darr lagne laga hai ...
Two days back I just thought of giving life a push - leave the job, this city and country. Return home, and probably search for the track that got lost somewhere two years back. But, sadly did not muster up enough courage. Mainly due to the expectant faces of parents. Did not have the heart to tell them that their son has failed yet again. I know they would understand, I know they would rally around me, I know they would care. But it is all this which hurts. Their love and care and concern would kill me internally. How often will I fail? How often will I stumble? How often will I not achieve my goals?
Please, God, please - give me my path back. I beg of you. The pain is unbearable now. Impossibly unbearable. I am now scared what this pain will lead me to do. Apni vahshat se darr lagne laga hai ...
posted by Not A Nice Person To Know at 9:35 pm
6 Comments:
God is going to show u the way soon...its just a test of your strength and patience. The path is there but the times not come for u to walk on it. You shall achieve ur goals, just be strong, dont give up on the will to go on. remember the saying "Try try try till u succeed" and I know u shall succeed and my prayers are with u now and forever.
Anonymous Err, may i know ur name pls...anyways, thanks for the faith in me, which i seem to hv lost myself.
Hi.
Maybe you would like this poem. It is not original. It was given to me by someone who used to be very special to me.
It is easy enough to smile
When life flows like a song.
But the man worth while
Is the one ,
Who will smile when everything goes dead wrong.
For the test of heart is trouble,
And it always comes through the years.
But the smile that is worth the praise of the earth,
Is the one which comes through tears.
Hi.
Maybe you would like this poem. It is not original. It was given to me by someone who used to be very special to me.
It is easy enough to smile
When life flows like a song.
But the man worth while
Is the one ,
Who will smile when everything goes dead wrong.
For the test of heart is trouble,
And it always comes through the years.
But the smile that is worth the praise of the earth,
Is the one which comes through tears.
I did take time out to go through quite a few of your posts.
And I was struck by the amazing honesty which you are able to show to your ownself. Thats a virtue in itself, because there are people like me who are never able to be that honest with themselves.
Though always remember, the true happiness comes from within and spreads radiance all around. In your case, I feel that you are trying to find happiness in the wrong places. Look within yourself my friend, and you shall find what you seek.
p.s. - I don't mean to offend or hurt your feelings. Just saying what a "friend" should be saying.
Friend From your words it seems u know me. I wish u had left ur name as well. But anyways, really appreciate all ur concern and kind words. I m not sure what happiness means, or where to search for it, or what is within me. It all is a haze right now. And the light at the end of the tunnel seems more an oncoming train.
Trust me, I m not at all offended. I appreciate friendship, and many many thanks for being here.
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