Again A Friday
It's again a Friday. Another week swept by. In fact, another month also has vanished. I am back here after nearly three weeks, I guess. After two weeks of travelling , I had thought I had stirred myself up enough to last awhile without writing on this space. It did not last beyond a day.
I have avoided coming here; I have avoided dipping myself in the caustic sauce of self pity for a week; today, I could not resist myself. Seven days of unproductivity. One week of guilt and helplessness. Just in case anyone did bother to keep track of the last posts, the deal is still stuck; the mail boxes still empty (or rather, devoid of the mails that I want!) - and either way I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Worse, even it does come, it would be of a rushing train, for I can almost hear the rumblings in the distant.
Have I burnt my bridges again? In my overzealous display of devotion I had sort of vowed not to eat non-vegetarian till the time the deal came through. I did eat. At a lunch. At a dinner. At a party. Because I was weak enough and did not say no to the hosts/peer who were with me at that time. Is it all over that means? Is my punishment on the way? Has the sharp blade of retributive guillotine started its journey to pierce my neck?
Anyways, the week has gone by. I have not worked, as I said. Just whiled the office time away. I wish I could find a job that suited my sensibilities and the money that this one is giving. I can forsake a bit of the money, but seriously, I need a change of job, a change of country, a change of scenario!
When was the last that a miracle or lucky coincidence happened in my life?
I have avoided coming here; I have avoided dipping myself in the caustic sauce of self pity for a week; today, I could not resist myself. Seven days of unproductivity. One week of guilt and helplessness. Just in case anyone did bother to keep track of the last posts, the deal is still stuck; the mail boxes still empty (or rather, devoid of the mails that I want!) - and either way I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Worse, even it does come, it would be of a rushing train, for I can almost hear the rumblings in the distant.
Have I burnt my bridges again? In my overzealous display of devotion I had sort of vowed not to eat non-vegetarian till the time the deal came through. I did eat. At a lunch. At a dinner. At a party. Because I was weak enough and did not say no to the hosts/peer who were with me at that time. Is it all over that means? Is my punishment on the way? Has the sharp blade of retributive guillotine started its journey to pierce my neck?
Anyways, the week has gone by. I have not worked, as I said. Just whiled the office time away. I wish I could find a job that suited my sensibilities and the money that this one is giving. I can forsake a bit of the money, but seriously, I need a change of job, a change of country, a change of scenario!
When was the last that a miracle or lucky coincidence happened in my life?
posted by Not A Nice Person To Know at 2:09 am
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